Heart
Recognition
Through all the worlds of former states
The life came flying back.
I traced the thread of sinew bright
From brow to furry loins.
A darkly lingering curious gaze
She gave me in the still.
Then twilight washed her sharply free
Of fiction assumed.
She knew me.
One Moment
My friend turns
Her hair catches early morning sunshine
– Unspeakable joy.
The fire crackles
Dust motes catch the golden light, dance
hanging
– Unspeakable joy.
I catch my breath
Silence within the air fills my breathing
– Unspeakable joy.
Time melts
I remember who I am
– Unspeakable
– Joy.
Out of Your Hands
All your worry and fretting
Don’t you think it’s out,
Out of your hands?
So let it glide,
Let it slide,
Let all those things slip
Into all their own places,
Let the whole roll.
And come to my side again.
It’s already decided,
And is happening now.
Da Capo
Ah Marcine,
The guests are happy,
Their laughter flits all around the room.
You are standing by the fireside,
Where the logs are burning brightly
And casting a flickering light.
Your cheeks are flushed,
And the wine,
Oh how it sparkles in your glass,
And you’re wishing he’d come soon,
And you’re remembering the last time,
And it hits you in the tummy,
And turns into a wave,
And you’re back inside the centre
Of your hurricane of hassles –
That you’re married
With a little “m”.
Then a movement in the distance,
And you recognise his voice,
And your heart is beating madly,
Though you hardly notice this
As he reaches for your hand.
Oh a wild, wild feeling
That it’s happened all before
As a shadow sweeps the table,
A fragment of conversation,
And over to the right
Something flashes blue,
He’s speaking quite slowly,
Though it’s happening very fast,
And your thought is to go with it,
So that maybe this time
It will carry you through.
And he’s saying something, smiling,
About slipping out the party,
And your feet are crunching out
Across the gravel of the drive.
And as moonlight hits the windscreen,
And the engine lifts up
Into a new roar of life,
Your whole body is singing
Just one strong chord,
Oh Marcine,
Let life happen,
Once again.
In a Lighter Mood...
I walked slowly through pine trees,
And the air was whistling,
And the needles were bristling,
And my feet were thomping
On the hollow ground.
I thought deeply of you.
In the night,
While you are sleeping,
I play with your freckles
And move them about.
You don’t seem to notice,
Though recently I catch you
Looking puzzled in your glass.
I walked slowly through pine trees,
And the air was whistling,
And the needles were bristling,
And my feet were thomping
On the hollow ground.
I thought deeply of you.
Of your waist that compels
My hands to hold you,
Of your eyes that compel
Mine to twinkle.
What is there I thought
Between a man and a woman
Save that impalpable
Force field of recognition.
I walked slowly through pine trees,
And the air was whistling,
And the needles were bristling,
And my feet were thomping
On the hollow ground.
I thought deeply of you.
While I am sleeping,
And dreaming of your freckles,
Your waist and your eyes,
You play with my thoughts,
And move them about.
You think I don’t notice,
Though recently you see me
Walking slowly through pine trees…
Halloween
Of course…
I can now roughen
That too smooth, too used
useless word “love”.
Love is…
Two people
simultaneously
turning on
and each seeing
(without copping out)
the candle burning
in the other’s
hollow turnip head.
Fusion Reactor
I made a warm fertile environment
For your presence
But you did not arrive.
It does not matter.
You will come again
In the future.
A wet wood burner now
That will produce the fusion
Of our selves
Another time…
Let us say.
A Poem Taken
Take a poem, Rose,
But bring no pencil.
A soft, marginally responsive resilience
For my fingertips,
Thus and so
Do I start my line
And with a third fingertip,
To split a delicate symmetry
With a gentle firmness
I make my first point.
Thus and so
Do I establish my metre
and invite a nascent pressure
To find its freedom
In a crystalline dance.
Ah Rose, take a poem.
Together and Apart
He: Why did it happen?
I’m not wise enough to say.
She: The sea thrashes round upon the shore.
He: I did not mean to hurt you
God knows I care inside.
She: The sun goes down behind the hill.
He: I am sick with damage
Done to me and done to you.
She: The owl calls hollow on his branch.
He: Oil mixed with water moves up and floats away.
She: Your life has pulled apart from mine.
He: The village sleeps on softly now.
She: Sleeps on whole.
You and I
And what if now again I find,
Leafing through some empty lane
Curiously twined inside my mind
A memory of you?
Of teacups yellow in the sun
And spoons reflecting spots of light
Upon the wrinkled cloth.
Of clothes thrown scattered carelessly
Upon a wicker bedroom chair
Still warm from you.
Of your small whisper burned so deep
Hushed and tremulous with surprise
“I’ve always been alive, you know!”
Then it’s still true.
To S & P
In this careless time
When chaos blows
Dark clouds across
A distant sun
And one short season
Of goodwill
Bends each to wish
The next full joy
I’ll breathe in deep
Before it ends
And thank my joss
For you two friends
O my love I must hold you in my arms,
O my love I must hold you in my arms,
For I have been beyond familiar things:
and distant stars have burst within my sight,
and wide star fields have wrapped me round about,
and I have drowned in silences too deep for thought.
For I have seen what all come finally to see:
that all life’s forces spin within each point,
that all the separate waves are but the ocean’s shape,
that you and I apart become the same.
And so my love I must hold you in my arms.
An Egg For Breakfast
My life,
filled suddenly
with fear,
separation,
and the threat of loss:
there does not seem
much to get up for,
however my appetite is sharp,
and I look forward to an egg
for breakfast.
Poem Point
In the nascent moment
A poem is born.
Comes a suffusion of bliss,
The return in time
Of the love engendered
In the minds of those
Who will read it.
See this, and you stand
On the only place
A man can stand
Without ignoring
Something.
Woe Woe Woe
I have a child
Twelve years old today
Four thousand miles away
And I love her.
And I’ve loved her
Every single day
Of this long
Separation
I cannot talk to her
I cannot share with her
My good feelings
and creations
I cannot feel her joy
I cannot see her face
Or her laughter
And good vibrations
My heart is breaking.
When Last I saw my Child
Autumn is too deep for me:
The gold, the green,
the threadbare trees,
Bright bonfire warmth,
and falling leaves.
This catalogue of fullness
Brims every other heart.
But I can’t go so deeply where
Strong feelings suffocate my care.
Dream
Dreamed I glimpsed a dear dear face
In windowed train that slipped away
Dreamed of loss of urgent chance
As fingers slipped apart in crowd
Dreamed of vast and mighty doom
As sunlight steady shone on stone
Dreamed I was but dream alone
And all my love a lovely dream
On an Evening Walk with Brock
We both lunatics will be
In the beam of the loony moon
When our evening walk
Slowly unwinds
A bedtime story
From wide-awake minds:
A story of roots and tangles and bark,
Of boughs and woods and why?
And over and above
That glowing face
So madly pie in the sky!
Angie
She had that rare electricity of the flesh
That lit mere matter with her lovely light
She was mine-
She was everyone’s!
But she was mine…
For I had a light of my own
In the springing days of my youth.
Annabel
Her fresh, calm assurance
Made her every word and movement
Seem touched by the hand
That had swept stars
Across deep space
And fixed every smallest thing
Into such a firm setting,
That all sparkled together!
“If you want me”, she said,
“You must take me.”
Hillhead
We four, smitten by the smoke,
Sink deep-
Feeling suddenly a surprising kinship
With boggy field, gaunt pines, rusty stones
And even the morning light on the shiny lino.
The moment refusing to slide away,
Yawning with infinity…
Then young Ian, drawn to action,
Mutters “bloody fools!” under his breath
And dashes outside to start the Honda
And career crazily around the hilly, humpy
field.
In Vino Veritas
And to those of you
Taking one glass
And fighting the effect
With all your prim propriety
Missing the point so outrageously,
While I enter the huge expansion
Of the present moment
That exposes the fallacy of time
And sets me firmly
In the true enjoyment of this life:
I say, come on, really!
Death
When they go, they go.
They go completely.
Without warning or goodbye.
A stark loss.
No consequence.
No meaning.
No connection with what was real.
No reasonableness.
They are gone.
The Children
Noisy Dierdre:
Driven by her needing
This thing then the next thing
Wanting, running, finding
Hungry and dissatisfied.
She’ll go through life dreaming,
Not knowing she is living.
“Come along precious, or you’ll be late for school”.
Smiling Adam:
Understanding fashion
Knowing rules and meanings
Encapsulated schemas
Rungs, ladders and achievements.
He’ll live a life successful,
Unquestioned and seamless.
“Come along son, or you’ll be late for school”.
Little Alice:
Her heart full of yearning
Crested in her eyes
Beating in her chest
She wants everything to love her.
She’ll find a man one day,
And compromise.
“Come along darling, or you’ll be late for school”.
Young Tom:
Standing lost and silent
Tumbling within himself
He’s left his name behind
He’s finding only mind.
No help from anyone,
He’ll always be alone inside.
“Come along now, or you’ll be late for school”.
Quiet Sophia:
Steady in her silence
Graceful in her joy
Laughs a little
Loves all.
She is what she’ll always be,
Even when she’s gone.
“Come, lets go to school!”
Sappho!
So alive,
So appreciative of beauty,
So taken up with love.
Love Flows
It flows and flows,
Being a reaction in all my parts.
Sappho said:
“A thin flame runs under my skin”
And so it does!
Annabel Remembered
I was asleep and she loved me.
She was alive. I was asleep.
We walked down the train platform.
She chose a carriage and got in.
Leaning out of the window.
Looking down. She saw me. She loved me.
I was asleep. She went. Back home. North.
I stayed in London. She had valued me.
This resounded in my mind.
I was enticed by this alternate possibility of living.
Of being someone valued as I did not yet value myself.
We met many more times.
In many different places.
Sunny days.
Always she was there. Alive.
Transforming the day, the time.
And then she wasn’t.
And I began a different dream.
Fifty years later, suddenly missing her, I am awake.